Slow And Steady

So it’s been a long time since I have updated. So much going on, so little time. Things are going good I suppose. The weight loss is starting to be noticed by people. Its hard when you weigh so much and then you lose a decent bit and since you’re still huge, no one really notices. I started at a size 30 jean. Im now comfortably in a size 24. The outfit I bought to wear to Sean’s grandmothers funeral had a jacket and pants. That was a size 22. So that felt nice. My biggest issue right now is my bras. Okay maybe its too much information but I don’t care! Im going to have to shop for some new ones soon. Im so picky when it comes to them to begin with. So im sure it will be a challenge. They are getting too big and just not working like they should. Im just afraid to spend more money on something that may not last long.

My actual weight loss is going slowly. I was supposed to go in for an adjustment to my band this past Thursday, but because of Sean’s grandmothers passing, I had to cancel. The doctor that I see is in the process of moving into his own practice instead of sharing with his partner. So that is delaying a lot of things. They told me they would call me sometime in September to schedule an adjustment. That feels like forever away! My doctor told me to come in somewhere between 3 and 6 weeks to get an adjustment after the last one. Thursday will be 5 weeks. I feel like I need the adjustment but maybe I just need to fit my eating. The strangest thing about eating is that I don’t think im eating enough throughout the day. I usually skip breakfast. Usually ill get a little something for lunch, and then ill eat dinner. Most of it has to do with the restriction that I feel in the morning into the afternoon. I don’t feel like I can eat. But I need to start forcing myself to eat a little something. I notice when I take a day off and just eat whatever junk I want that the next day, im down a pound. I don’t get it! I feel so guilty after eating it all, and then I weigh myself and boom! Down. Its definitely not healthy to do that and im sure if I do that too often, it could lead to an eating disorder or something. I don’t throw it up or anything. But still, its not healthy and it makes me feel sick.

I’ve had my goal of 325 in mind for awhile. I keep changing the date im going to get there. I started this process losing a lot at the very beginning. I think that threw me off. A good weight loss is 1-2 pounds at most per week. Well, right now im averaging about 1 pound. So that is good right? But it makes me feel like its never going to happen! Im determined to reach that 325 though by Elias’s birthday. That’s how much I weighed when he was born, so it would be appropriate! Its not unobtainable. 25 days to go down 6 pounds. I’ve got this. Current weight as of this morning: 331... making me down 46 pounds.